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Naughty chats example
A few weeks back one of the readers here requested I get up an example of how a typical conversation goes for me with a new woman, and how I engage her. I tried to put a few conversations to paper over the past few weeks, but each of them was less than a great example — either because the girl engaged me a little too aggressively herself to be all that useful to beginning and intermediate guys, or because I knew the girl already through social circle so it wasn't a completely fresh connection, or because there were multiple people involved and I was juggling other men competing for a woman while I built a connection with her.
So rather than post up one of those messy examples, which might be useful in some ways but less-than-useful in others, instead I'll put up a made-up example conversation to show how you can use conversation to engage a girl who's moderately interested. Note Xhamster cams this is all stuff I use with real women and I've structured the girl's response to reflect how women typically respond to these conversational topics.
Two things that're definitely not conveyed are expressions and tonality. I tend to go between these two styles. All you need is a moderate level of interest to build a connection.
If you have a large amount of interest from a girl, she'll do all the work. If you have little or no interest, you might be able to make something happen, but it's going to be tricky and by no means a sure thing. A moderate level of interest, though, is manageable, so let's run with that. Here's how a typical conversation for a guy who's skilled at being a conversationalist and knowledgeable in the way of deep diving will go.
I'll give notes throughout. Let's place our hero in a lounge in New York City. I'm Joe. So far, pretty standard conversational fare.
Some intricacies of conversation here. After she says where she's from, our guy builds up her value without really advancing the conversation, thus putting social pressure on her to move things forward herself. If he simply let it hang without building up her value, she Milf club be inclined to leave ; since he's built her up and made her sound good Naughty chats example knowledgeable and he's self-deprecated himself somewhat, she's going to feel obligated to build him back up and show interest by asking a question.
Thus, even with girls who are only moderately interested, you can use this to begin structuring things so they are chasing somewhat. Because of the simplicity of the request for clarification, she'll comply, and thus is putting in greater effort to find out an answer from us — in other words, she's chasing again here too. Him: Right now I'm a New York native. Well, not native, but I live here, if that counts for anything.
Him: That's a good question, how long have I lived here? Umm… I guess about two years, yeah? What do you do here in the City? Him: Oh cool, cool. Does that mean you aspire to be a lawyer someday, or you see how much work your boss has to do and say, "Never for me?
Her: I might be a lawyer someday. She doesn't get to control that frame and claim there are no amazing jobs. There are amazing jobs; and he's going to show her. Him: Like… well, I don't know. If you could do anything else in the world and get paid the same as what you get paid now, what would you do instead?
He avoids the trap here. Instead of answering, and trying to figure out and list what Pornstar movies tube pornstars of job he thinks she will find amazing, he instead throws it back at her and asks her what she'd rather do instead.
If he started listing jobs, she might very well reply with, "No, that job's not amazing! So, he chooses not to list examples and instead asks her to do so.
Note the subtlety there: she Zee tamil online there are no amazing jobs, he says there are, she asks what jobs are amazing, and he asks her what job she'd liked to do in place of what she's doing now.
So in effect, he changes the question: now it's not "Why aren't you doing a job that's amazing? Him: Wow, that's different from being a paralegal. What, you signed up for the wrong school or something by accident? Remember that building a Free punk dating sites with a woman is all about getting her to tell you things she views as personally significant. Her rationale for choosing a job she doesn't like over a job she does is pretty personally significant, and probably not something she talks about all that much with all that many people.
Then, he rewards her by assuming she's creative a good quality and seeks to find out what else she does. Him: Well, you do a lot of hard work for a law firm. You've got to get creative to get some of it done sometimes. Again, he won't let her win this frame battle. Of course she does something creative.
He might have to get creative himself to paint her as a creative person in this case, implying that grunt work at a law firm is creativebut he's doing it to build her up, so it's okay. If you let a girl "win" by implying she doesn't meet a standard you've set, you lose.
You can't stick around and continue showing as much interest in a girl who's failed your screen. Thus, you refuse to let her fail and find a way to help her pass. She sees this, and views it as you really being on her side because you're trying to help her win you over. Does all kinds of good for you. Him: No, actually, I'm kind of a struggling artist. I have a day job, which is what I lean on for the bills, but I don't like being defined that way so I'll always say I'm an artist.
Him: No way! It's boring as hell. I want my photography to take off so I can stop riding a desk all day, falling asleep in front of my computer. He has a day job after all, so he's not just some rogue, starving artist. But, he still defines himself as an artist, and quickly moves the focus off his job, so she doesn't see him as some stodgy project manager who's boring and worthy only of a relationship.
He's an artist; that's romantic. And romantic-seeming men are the men women want as lovers. Him: Yeah, seriously. How'd we end up trading our time for money? I wanted to be James Bond and go Naughty chats example the world, killing bad guys and seducing beautiful women. Her: [laughs] You'd be great at that, I think. Let me know if Naughty chats example do that, maybe I'll go with you for a few missions.
Him: Maybe I'll lobby the writers to keep you around for two movies. Like, a sequel or something. They're bonding here. He uses roleplay to imply that he's a little hard to get but still working to help her get with him.
See that? He's hard for her to get, but he's on her side and he's trying to help her be with him despite how hard a guy he is to get. If he's too hard to get, she'll close up and go cold. If he's trying to help her get him but he's not hard to get, she'll think he's too easy and get bored.
If, however, he's hard to get, and gunning for her and trying to help her succeed… well… now she's intrigued. He moves her, following a high point when they're both bonding heavily and really enjoying the conversation. This gets her to commit to being with him. This is a very dominant thing to do and plants you firmly in the driver's seat of the interaction.
It throws her off balance a bit, so you'll want to be a little nice after you use it and guide her toward answers. Him: A bunch of places. Well, tell me this: if you could go anywhere you wanted in the world, where would you go? Note that he does not get sucked into bragging or showboating about the many places he's traveled when she asks. She doesn't travelso if he talks about all the places he's visited, she's either going to be bored to tears, or blown out and shut down, the vast, vast majority of the time.
Instead, he's vague about where he's been, and quickly puts the spotlight back onto her. He finds out what she likes, where Naughty chats example wants to go, and teases her a little, implying that she chases after men setting the frame that she pursues men, which is helpful to his cause.
Him: I haven't been to Spain, but I have been to Italy. Definitely could be described as romantic and wonderful… oh man, the food there is so good. And the people… everyone is beautiful. Even people in their forties and fifties — it's not like over here, where everyone over thirty-five is The romanoffs nudity. There, even if you're fifty years old, you're still thin, and dress well and in bright colors, and live well and take good care of yourself and look good.
And the buildings, and the architecture… what a beautiful place. Notice that now we have this, five to ten minutes into the interaction — our first story. And it's short, it's not really about him at all, directly — rather, it's about this beautiful, romantic, wonderful place, Italy. Have fun overseas by yourself! Him: Well, let's plan for the first one; I'm not sure if the writers will let me have the same girl in two Asstr main yet or not.
Her: Well, you know… hang out with friends, go to movies, eat at restaurants. Clubbing sometimes…. Him: I believe you.
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